What is the difference between sympathy and empathy? I have to teach this difference to our nursing students. For some students, this is difficult. Sympathy can be very non-therapeutic. For example, "I'm sorry" can be translated to mean "Thank God this didn't happen to me!" Empathatic behavior, on the other hand, uses the "I-feel-your-pain" message, that is very effective when used sincerely.
Our empathy is what makes us human--what connects us to others. Empathetic nurses cry with their patients, laugh with their patients, and grieve with their patients. Demonstrating empathy can cause the nurse to run the gamut of emotions--from the happiest to the saddest--and really requires the nurse to be aware of his or her beliefs, feelings, and ability to communicate effectively. The roller coaster of emotions can go from high to low in a matter of minutes.
I have sat with dying patients and laughed with them as they told me stories of their lives. I have heard horrific stories of war--like the man who at 17 years old was on the beach at Normandy. I have also served as a cheerleader as they raced toward the end of their lives and passed into the next, only to turn to face their family members as they realize their loved one was no longer with them. I've laughed, cried, and laughed again--all in a matter of minutes. Was I sorry that they had lost their loved one? Absolutely! But I did more than just say "I'm sorry." I tuned in to their feelings and felt their loss.
We used to make my youngest daughter remove her iPod and interact with us on trips in the car. Are young people so "plugged in" that they're not connecting with the rest of the human race? We see them every day--with either a cell phone or earbuds--avoiding contact with those around them. Will the nurse of tomorrow be able to demonstrate empathy? Or will she be too self-absorbed to connect with a patient or family member during life's most important moments? The Empathic Civilisation, by Jimmy Rifkin, explains how we are all connected.
Jimmy Rifkin is a bestselling author, political advisor and social and ethical prophet. In The Empathic Civilisation, he explains the evolution of empathy and the benefits of living in an empathic community.
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